Tradition of asking permission to marry

You’re thinking about getting engaged which means you’ve found the one…

and your thinking about asking your future father in law’s permission to marry his lovely daughter. You have spent time getting to know each other, fallen hopelessly in love and you’re desperate to ask her to be your wife.

One tradition that has been slowly fading away from Western society is asking your loved one’s father for her hand in marriage. Some argue that it can be seen as sexist and chauvinistic and harks back to times when women were treated as the inferior sex.

But perhaps it’s just respectful to ask your future bride’s father for his blessing. It lets your girlfriend’s father know that you’re sincere in your intentions and a true gentleman. It’s an important tradition, a rite of passage, and a bonding experience between you and your future father-in-law. Plus, most women we think it’s a sweet gesture. It can be a nerve raking experience for any groom to be. What if he says no! Where do you go from there? Is bribery an option?!

But from the heart, promise to love and protect his little girl for all time and hope that he says yes! Always remember that a girl’s relationship with her father is very important be that for good or for bad. For those women lucky enough to have a healthy relationship with their dad his approval is all-important and more to the point our respect for that is essential too.

Whether you choose to honour this tradition or not, it’s certainly worth considering when you are planning your big proposal, and ladies, if you are the one proposing, why not ask his Mum!

Over the next few weeks we’ll be sharing some engagement stories so do check back.

In the meantime if you are thinking about having a Humanist Wedding here in Scotland then feel free to get in touch.


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