A Eulogy is a piece of writing usually presented as praise to someone who has recently passed away. A Eulogy can be written for any loved one to allow the memorial service to become a personal event celebrating the life of the deceased. It may include songs, prayers, or quotes from the deceased favourite books or movies.
Although it is an extremely personal piece of work, it is important to explore how to write it effectively to give a memorable experience. This blog will explore the tips on writing a Eulogy for a mother, father, child, or sibling. These relationships are irreplaceable and the connection immeasurable. Going through their passing will be one of the toughest times and writing a Eulogy in those times may seem impossible. However, the below steps will assist you to explain your feeling in the right words.
A Eulogy is not to be written without thinking. One needs to sit down, take a deep breath, and connect with the memory of the departed soul.
1. Recollect Memories
Try to collect as many memories as you can – stories, childhood, and life journey. It is not possible to share every memory in detail so choose some of your favourite stories, keeping in mind they will represent your loved one.
The departed may have been of importance to other close family and friends who may not be speaking at the funeral so feel free to reach out to them for any stories.
The departed soul will have touched many lives, so take some time and talk to people that were close to them. In case of a parent’s demise, if you have siblings who would not be speaking at the funeral, ask them if they have any memories they want to share. Or if the spouse or your grandparents are living and in touch with you, ask them if there are any stories that they would like you to tell.
2. Recall Their Legacy
Think of how your relative would want to be remembered forever. Collect points that they would like you to say. In case of a mother or father, the stories, values, and lessons you or your siblings attained from them might be helpful to note the points. And in the case of a departed sibling, reminiscing the successes of their life and recollecting the teaching gained together will be nice to start with. It will be beneficial to keep questions such as how the person was able to help another in a difficult time, what were their personal and professional achievements. It is advisable to focus more on personal memories as it is generally believed to bring all humans closer.
3. Arrangement of Ideas
The proper style and feel for a Eulogy depends entirely on who the person was and what his or her family wants. If your loved one was a deeply spiritual person, you might want to work that into the eulogy. If they liked to tease and joke around, you can sprinkle in a bit of humour. In fact, funeral attendees often appreciate a few lighter moments.
An ideal time for a Eulogy to last is 15 minutes. While selecting stories, it is beneficial to remember that these will leave beautiful memories of your loved one.
To make this easy, try to decide a theme or arrange similarity wise, for example:
Share the life story of the departed
This is your chance to share some beautiful memories of your loved one. If it hurts to leave things out, remember that choosing the right stories will bring joy and solace to those who gather.
Share values, beliefs, and thoughts of the person
Stories help connect to a person’s memory. When you remember a piece of advice that your mother/father or even sibling gave you time and time again, can you see their face and hear their voice? Think of one particularly memorable time when their advice helped you. Where were you? What were you struggling with, and how did they help?
Share the contributions and teachings the person made to your life or anyone else’s
Consider mentioning accomplishments that were particularly meaningful. Did the departed soul impact the community in any way? Did they achieve something important professionally?
Let any other family, close relatives or friends express their thoughts either through you or themselves.
You may also want to have a conversation with any other people who are hosting the funeral with you, whether that means other family members, religious leaders, funeral home directors, or a combination thereof. Figure out what the tone of the event will be and what else will be said. You will probably feel more comfortable if the tone of your eulogy matches the event.
One needs to understand that there is no correct or incorrect way to write a Eulogy. Take grief one day at a time, think about writing the Eulogy one step at a time. Do not sit down to a blank page or screen and start composing the speech from beginning to end. Take a breath, connect with your loved one’s memory, and make your way through these steps.
4. Outline Your Thoughts
Once you have your stories chosen, take some time to put them in order. Think about which story should be your first and which is good as a closer.
Do not stress too much about this part. You can switch things around as much as you want later. The goal is just to establish the flow of the piece while giving you a structure to work within. When you know how you plan to start and where you are going with the Eulogy, it will feel a lot less daunting.
5. Write the Introduction
Once you have written the body of the Eulogy, the introduction will come to you much more easily, because there will probably be a few people there who will not know you and you will want to introduce yourself as the son, daughter, sister or brother of the deceased.
Thank everyone for coming, in whatever way you feel is appropriate, and briefly touch on the theme of your Eulogy. This can be as simple as “My mother/father/brother/sister taught me many things, but the one that meant the most was the importance of family.”
6. Develop a Conclusion
The end of the Eulogy will probably be an emotional part to write. It will have a feeling of “goodbye,” but it should also communicate gratitude and love. You can express these feelings in any way that you feel comfortable with. Popular endings include:
- One of your loved one’s favourite quotes
- A meaningful song lyric
- A brief poem
- A line or two of religious text
You can also choose something as simple as “Goodbye and thank you. I will always love you, and you will always be missed.” The important thing is that the message is heartfelt.
7. Review, Revise, and Practice
Once you have finished the Eulogy, read it over from beginning to end. Does it make sense? Is there anything extraneous you should remove, or conversely, anything you would like to add? You may also want to have someone else read it, as your connection to the material is intimate. It can help to get a fresh pair of eyes.
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