By Josephine King, Celebrant with Fuze Ceremonies & The Fuze Foundation
Since qualifying as a Celebrant with the UK Celebrant & Public Speaking Academy (UKCAPSA) in 2021 and subsequently joining Fuze Ceremonies as a Celebrant, I have been drawn to conducting funerals, and learning about many other aspects of the end of life. I have read books, listened to podcasts and attended exhibitions all about funerals, customs around death, funeral directors, crematoria, grief and bereavement.
I also began volunteering at my local hospice, the Prince and Princess of Wales, in Glasgow, and attended an End of Life First Aid Skills for Everyone (EASE).
Then one day I heard about Death Cafés. I discovered there was a monthly death café local to me, so I went along, not knowing what to expect. It was interesting, with moments of sadness – and of laughter too; it felt very grounding, and as we went around the circle explaining what had brought us along, there quickly developed a sense of trust. Of course this had a lot to do with Jenny, who organises this event, and who skillfully set us all at ease.
I attended a couple more, and eventually felt that I would like to have a go at organising a death café myself. I looked at the (excellent) website deathcafe.com and picked up all kinds of information about what makes a death café.
Square Park Coffee in Pollokshields – Giggy, the owner, kindly provides the platform and space hold the Death Cafe events
The most important things are: it must be free to come in (although donations can be taken), there can be no advertising of any companies or services, and …there must be cake! I plucked up the courage and approached a small, local community café to see if they were interested in the idea; – It’s really important to have the right kind of venue. Thankfully Giggy, owner of Square Park Coffee in Pollokshields, said Yes!
I made a post for my social media, and told some folks…..And the big day came.
The baking was set out, and (in case there might be a lull) I had a bowl of written questions to spark conversation. Eventually there were over half a dozen of us, and after going around the circle we just seemed to carry on talking;- about losing loved ones, about attitudes to death while we were growing up, about our attitudes to what remained of our own lives. We certainly didn’t need to use the wee questions I had prepared!
Pictured left: Alex, COOP community supporter and provider of boxes of tissues, advertised the event in-house. Me, pictured right.
Before they left, everyone asked me when the next death café was planned for. To me, that’s enough to tell me that it was valuable, and I guess you could say, a success. I don’t think any two death cafés will be the same and probably rightly so. I am proud and delighted to say that since that first Death Cafe in February 2024, I’ve since held two more, so three in total now.
And I’m happy to say my next death café event is planned for Wednesday 22nd May 2024 at Square Park Coffee. 6:30 – 8:00pm. We’ll be talking and listening to each other about death and dying which ties in very nicely with the theme of demystifying death week, 6th to the 12th of May. promoted by Good Life Good Death Good Grief, which is about giving people knowledge, skills and opportunities to plan and support each other through death, dying, loss and care.
More dates coming up soon now… see my Instagram page for updates!
