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One of the most powerful moments in any humanist wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows, firstly their legal vows of commitment (mandatory of course!) and then, as many do, the part where couples get to speak directly from the heart, in their own words – their personal vows. Whether you’re poetic, practical, or somewhere in between, writing your own personal wedding vows is a beautiful way to celebrate your relationship and make your humanist led marriage ceremony truly yours. But how do you even begin to write something so important?
As experienced Scottish humanist celebrants, here at Fuze Ceremonies, we’ve guided hundreds of couples through this. Below is a simple, supportive blueprint to help you craft personal vows that feel natural, sincere, and unforgettable.
Remember: There’s No Right or Wrong Way
In a humanist wedding, the entire ceremony is about you, your story, your values, your relationship and your promises to each other. That means your vows can be as romantic, playful, heartfelt or/and funny, as you want them to be.
The most important thing? That they feel authentic to you.
Start With Reflection, Not Writing
Before putting pen to paper, take a few minutes, separately or together, to reflect on questions like:
What do I love most about my partner?
What have we experienced together that’s shaped our relationship?
What do I want to promise them, today, tomorrow, and the years ahead from now?
What makes our love story uniquely yours?
Writing down a few thoughts at this point can make the actual writing flow more easily later.
Keep It Simple and Speak From the Heart
You don’t have to write a novel. Most personal wedding vows are between 100 and 200 words, just short enough to hold attention and long enough to have impact.
A simple structure that works well is:
Start with a few lines about your partner and your relationship
Reflect on what you’ve learned about them or what they mean to you.
End with a few heartfelt promises – of course, these can be sincere, funny, or a mix of both.
Don’t Worry About Being “Good at Writing”
You don’t need to be a writer or a poet. You just need to be honest.
The vows that land best in a humanist wedding are the ones that sound like you. It’s okay if they’re a little emotional, a little funny, or a little quirky as that’s what makes them yours.
If you’re really stuck, your humanist celebrant from Fuze Ceremonies can help you shape or edit your words so they flow beautifully during the ceremony.
Practice, but Don’t Over Rehearse
Practise reading your vows aloud a few times. It helps with confidence, pacing, and avoiding unexpected tears (although tears are very welcome in a humanist ceremony!).
But don’t aim for a polished performance. The best delivery is one that’s real and emotionally present. If you stumble, smile, compose yourself and move on.
Keep a Surprise Element (If You’d Like!)
Many couples choose to keep their vows a surprise until the day, and it’s often one of the most moving parts of the ceremony. That said, if one of you is planning to write three lines and the other three pages, it’s worth agreeing a rough length ahead of time!
Final Thought: It’s Not About Perfection – It’s About Connection
At Fuze Ceremonies, our team of humanist celebrants are passionate about creating ceremonies that are heartfelt, relaxed, and totally tailored to you. Your vows don’t need to be “perfect” they just need to be yours. The most memorable words are often the simplest, the funniest, or the most unexpected.
So breathe deep, take your time, and enjoy the process. Writing your own vows is one of the most meaningful parts of preparing for your humanist wedding ceremony – and we’re here to help every step of the way.
Add our smiles to yours
No two couples are the same so no two ceremonies should be the same. At Fuze we work alongside our couples to make their humanist wedding ceremony script is unique, personal and bespoke. It’s your day your way with us, so let us add our smiles to yours.
